I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
two words...techno handjob
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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