dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
