haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
