I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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