I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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