just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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