I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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