i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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