check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize