you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
