well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
