Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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