Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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