There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you inspire me to be a worse person
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
