so that wasnt chicken after all
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
