Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
