We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
