I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
