i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
