we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
