I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize