I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
