best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
