But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
