I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
