i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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