Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
