Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize