Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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