i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
