the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
