Can Purell be used as lube?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
