My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
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