I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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