My boss' voice literally gives me gas
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
