that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
