so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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