Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
