I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
