I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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