You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
