i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
