Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My boob is missing a layer of skin
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
