yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
