it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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