The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize