I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The power of my boobs compel you
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
