if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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