I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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