She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize