he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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