i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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