Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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