Tell her she can't have a vagina
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
