I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
