I cockslap morals
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
