You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
