my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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