We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
